The Official Curling Webpage

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about curling and curlers, REAL CURLERS.  This site is awesome.    My name is Donny Sprule and I can't stop thinking about curlers.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1.    Curlers are mammals.

2.    Curlers drink ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the curler is to sweep ice and vomit.

Weapons and gear:

Curling Brooms                                                     Curling Sheet   

Dangerous Amounts of Booze

Testimonial:

Curlers can drink anything they want!  Curlers drink antifreeze ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this curler who was drinking vodka at a perkins in some weekend bonspiel.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the curler killed the whole town.  My friend Ty said that he saw a curler totally uppercut some kid just because the kid blinked his eyes.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that curlers have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will use your bladder as a womb!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

Curlers are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Curlers are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start tuck sliding next year.  I love curlers with all of my body (including my pee pee).    

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about curlers?

A: Curlers are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they drink and piss, but on the other hand, curlers are very precise and angry.

Q: I heard that curlers are gay and fat.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, curlers can be fat OR totally awesome. 

Q: What do curlers do when they're not drinking oil or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent crying, but sometime they stab.  (Ask Ty if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of a newbie just entering the totally awesome
world of curling! they start with 3 drinks a second and go up
from there... which is braggable!

learn more about the real ultimate power!