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| Monday, November 26, 2001 |
| only one word can sum up the
weekend; lossiticity. not only did teamtomko lost the console final in gimli, but
martin lost the skins final, and the bombers lost the grey cup. the pics are in the pics section if you so wish to view them |
| Thursday, November 22, 2001 |
| i don't know why people don't
like to play 3-handed. two players get to throw one more rock, which increases
consistency, and the lead sweeps only 5 rocks instead of 6, thereby staying more refreshed
throughout the game. it's a common fact that when two people sweep a rock the second
sweeper only contributes 10%-30% of the total sweeping power (in our case 10%). in
addition the opposition thinks they will have an 'easier game' and may let their guard
down just long enough to receive an unexpected skull-crushing blow at any time.
there are many advantages to playing with only three players... but my team
disagrees. this, coupled with the fact that my second cannot afford to play this
weekend because he has 'issues' to cope with (read: getting another syphilis check) leaves
teamtomko desperately searching for a player to join the team by 9pm tomorrow. i'm confident that we will have no problem attracting someone what with our fine record and rugged good looks (in some cases more rugged than others) |
| Wednesday, November 21, 2001 |
| it seems
that cruel fate manwhore-slapped teamtomko yet again over the weekend, even though we were
not even curling! the team that i was to spare for in dauphine made it to the final,
earning something like $4000. it seems there is a teamtomko curse.
to really appreciate this news you must be first told of the teamtomko curse. consider the following facts: - fort garry spiel we lose to Kurn who wins the spiel, and beat bohn who wins the consolation - in selkirk we lose to burtnyak who wins the spiel - in valour rd. we lose to bubbs who wins the spiel (note: this is a lie to make the numbers look better) - in beausejour we beat swain, who makes it to the final - in kenora we beat wernich who wins the consolation, and then lose to the team that won the spiel - in east st. paul we lose to kirkness who wins the spiel - i am asked to spare for a team in dauphine, and then they make the final given a double-knockout bonspeil with N teams having log2(N) qualifiers, then the maximum number of teams which could possibly play the team which will win the bonspiel is 2*log2(N) (including the qualifying round). This means that the maximum chance any one team has of playing the 'winning' team is roughly 31.25% (assuming no team plays the same team twice). Given that, the probability that teamtomko would play the winning team 5 out of 6 bonspiels (which we have) is less than 0.2981%. (click here for a fan's view) Based on the numbers, it would seem that a supernatural force is at work here. my suspicion is that satan is still pissed off that i beat him in that game of hungry-hungry hippo's we played in the summer and so he has bribed the curling gods to make it so that teamtomko will never win, but anyone who plays us will either win or lose the final. Using this curse to our advantage i plan to have teamtomko play itself at 7pm friday in Gimli. the results should be most interesting... either the universe will collapse into itself, or the curse will be broken and we can start winning! btw, here is a copy of my research paper on the topic of quantum computers and RSA encryption |
| Friday, November 16, 2001 |
| i just added a teamtomko forum to which all our fans (hi mom) can
post their thoughts on. in particular, i'd like to hear some suggestions on how to
best shave one's own back... it's for my friend. you'll have to register as an user
in the 'ezboard community' but it's not as bad as getting a pointy stick in the eye. as it turns out the missing demon from the team i was to spare for managed to 'free up some time' and so i am off the hook and can instead enjoy a nice hot bath in vinegar this weekend to exfoliate my sensitive skin |
| Thursday, November 15, 2001 |
| after more thought i doubt if i can spare the money and time to goto dauphine for the weekend. especially since the rebroadcast of the Buffy Musical is tomorrow at 7pm on ch. 59. it will be short notice, but that's the way the takeout rolls |
| Wednesday, November 14, 2001 |
| i just got off the phone with
the most attractive man in curling today (joel gagnon) and i might be making a guest
appearance in Dauphine this weekend as a spare for the evil team that joel plays on.
evil in the sense that these guys would have to clean up there act to be as naughty
as satan. however, since i had no plans i might as well see if it was me that was
causing my team to not win, or just a series of freak accidents.. however the $175 entry
fee might be a problem... i'll think it over. team tomko made a superhappy terrific comeback today against some rather ugly woman (or handsome men.. hard to tell) tonight in league once again confirming the fact that we are the best league team in canada. |
| Monday, November 12, 2001 |
| can you guess how our weekend went? we played Larson thursday night and waxed him in 7 ends. A typical short-lived victory for team tomko. we played old man kirkness saturday morning and the best part about the game was that i raised him in for two and the win in the last end. i somehow managed to flee the club while ducking brooms thrown by my teammates in my general direction. the team bank account is empty at this point, and our moral is following suit. if nothing else, we have learned every possible technique of losing that exists, so that when we march for purple hearts in a few months we stand a better chance than anyone else. all this typing is tiring me out so i'm going to get back to bawling like a japanese schoolgirl over our horrendous season |
| Thursday, November 8 , 2001 |
| if there were a world league curling championships, teamtomko would dominate it. we played godlike during last nights league game and hope that some of that victorocity spills over to tonight's game at east st. paul. if not, then blood shall spill from the heads of those who get in our way as we leave the club |
| Tuesday Night, November 6 , 2001 |
| more lossiticity was our gift tonight from the (large but rather oily) gods of curling. i an attempt to lift team spirits, i'm setting a new (reachable) goal for the team: be the team who plays the most MCT games and wins the least about of money while not committing manslaughter. so far i think we are in the lead (except for the manslaughter part) |
| Tuesday, November 6, 2001 |
| i got no time for jibba-jabba.
our first game in the East St. Paul "Fat Tony" bonspiel is in 2 hours.
Our regular second (Brent the button plugger) has developed a critical injury in
his hand and so he cannot pay his entry fee... alas, we have dug deep into the talented
curling community and pulled out a worthy teamtomko spare named Dan "what's my name,
and what am i doing" Brycen (i believe he used to spell his last name differently,
but on teamtomko *i* make the rules) ADDENDUM: unbelievable! as if my luck hasn't been bad enough these last few weeks, now my car has turned against me as well! it refuses to start which means that as i type this i am frantically trying to find a ride to the club ADDENDUM: good old danny boy saved me. if anyone wants to buy a used eagle talon email me |
Ryan Tomko (skip)
Scott Madams (third)
Tyler Specula (second)
Dan Cox (lead)
Our Mascot (fifth)
