does this world cup thing ever end? it's been on tv since december already!! i used to play soccer in my youth (so many, many years ago) and the games never took this long... although the painful memories will last me several lifetimes
to help make the games more interesting i have thought up a few ideas.. for instance, instead of using a soccer ball, use a 44 pound rock! this will not only make it easier for the camera guy to stay focused on the action, but it will no doubt breed a race of iron footed freaks who we can mock and admire. next, i would give each player a broom to use in any way they see fit. finally the game should be played on ice and the team size reduced to 4 players per team

if watching men kick balls isn't for you (if only soccer were that exciting) try checking out this awesome new jackie chan movie... i think it's called 'face your pain'

if the blazing summer heat isn't enough to make your head spin then i suggest checking out this curling website. if the thankfully short neo-bagpipe background music doesn't render you unconscious then the barrage of seemingly random highlighted and bolded wods and phrases surly will!
however the good mr. rollins not only has created a website which makes your eyes bleed and terrifies children age 3-5, but evidently has also revolutionized the curling delivery with the invention of his 'genuflect' system... claiming that 'small women can hit like martin' he starts out by 'teaching' us why the hacks used in curling today are designed wrong and as such anyone over 100lbs (or was it under 100 iq points?) should be using his 'system' *if* they intend to go pro. next he chews out kelly law and accuses her of espionage or something for cleaning her rocks with her 'lotion filled fingers' .. he explained that rocks should be cleaned with a class-b nuclear photon cleanser, which he happens to sell.
he then goes on to brag how he never throws an outturn, he simply switches from left-handed to right-handed so as to stay away from the dirty 'out' turn which has cost him at least 94 world titles! now the pro-bashing comes on full blast.. he starts dissing the 'olympics curlers' stating that they are all armboosters and they is why they miss so often (?) .. of course he then mentions that he can slide the length of 4 football fields using his slide technique. finally he finishes the article by answering some questions which he must have posed himself because i doubt anyone could understand his babble, let alone inquire about it.. if there is anything worth reading there is it buried deep under googles of italics and bengay
as a final attack he puts on his doctor of poetry hat and squeezes out some verses which would make his comrade dr seuss kevorkian himself .. maybe i'll try my hand at it thou

the anti-slide : by rt
the was an old short man named rollins
whose web making skills start you bawling
his slide was all whack
stop smoking the crack
or the teamtomko fifth will be calling

the internet was the best thing i ever created! mostly because it allows teamtomko to voice our 'ratten and frank' point of view. but the internet is also a seething short-skirted pokemon-trainer's uncle because it allows people to attack at a distance under false identities.
case in point, the latest guestbook passage appears to be the vitriol rantings of the current junior womens team canada skip. But the immature tone of the composition seems to indicate it was written by a 3 year old .... however, since suzanne gaudet has won the last 5 pei provincial championships, she has to be at least 5 years old! QED.
i suspect someone just wanted to stir up the pei vs teamtomko matchup... but let's pretend it really was her anyways so i have something to write about! :)

I think that Ryan Tomko should respect my friend Stephanie Richard.

perhaps you should check out this website... because all the richard-related text on this site has taken the form of praise and general well-wishing

She is one cool cat and I think that Ryan Tomko should f### off.

you got me on that one.. stef is a cool cat! about the f###ing off request.. you do know that i am over 3500 km away already.. how much farther away do you want me to f### off?

Go hit on someone from Manitoba such as Quinn Adams!

egad!! i surrender! no one told me we were allowed to attack below the belt! but i will consider your dating advice since team Canada (pei) stole all the boyfriends of team Canada (mb) during the worlds .. you must know some secret chinese dating touch or something

so anyways there are several summer spiels coming up which teamtomko is going to hit.. if any of you wish to be a part of the site simply enter the spiels and you'll be on the internet faster than you can say 'promise me you won't show those to my girlfriend!'